Shaped Sling Head
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Shaped Sling Head
Is my character description any good?
Its not done.. but here is the start.. its for a character in my story.. Any tips or sentences that i can manipulate would be great!
Eden the Goddess of nature is naturally stunning! Her skin glows beneath the dress that was woven out of leaves and flowers. Upon her third finger lies a delicate un-blossomed bud of a daisy. Her cinnamon coloured hair is pulled back into a single French plait. Around her braid are tiny little flower heads (mostly lavender). Slung round her swan-like neck is a floral necklace with a pink rose quartz rooted in the centre. She has a button nose and forest green eyes. Her cupid's-bow shaped lips look like they have been painted by raspberries.
the story is told from another characters point of view..
she is just describing a few others who are joining her on this trip thing..
You should never describe a character all in one paragraph. These types of descriptions should be sprinkled throughout the writing. That "naturally stunning" part seems like something anyone would instantly think upon seeing this Goddess for the first time, so whoever is telling the story can mention that right away, and then some small details about the way she looks.
Things like the way her hair looks can be done with a sort of- "She sighed and fiddled with her flower-entwined braid." And that's what I mean by sprinkling descriptions throughout the writing. Your descriptions in general aren't bad, but you shouldn't bunch them all together.
Hope this helps.
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Psychomodo
What should we do with this goose?
Peterson, a commissionaire, a very honest fellow, was returning home from small jollification, when he saw in front of him a tall man, carrying a white goose, slung over his shoulder. When he reached a street corner, a row broke out between this stranger and a group of roughs. One of the later knocked off the man's hat, on which he raised his stick to defend himself, and, swinging it over his head, smashed the shop window behind him. Peterson ran ahead, to protect this man from his assailants, but the man, shocked at having broken the window, and seeing an official-looking person in uniform, dropped his goose and ran away. The roughs, too, ran away, and Peterson was left in possession of the field of battle, and of the spoils of his victory in the shape of an old hat and a well-fed goose. He brought both to me, since he didn't know how to find the owner, and I have a little PI practice. What should we do with the goose, and the hat, too?
Well, I suppose you could try to deduce the identity of the owner of the hat by inspecting it.
As for the goose, obey the old adage: "Always look a gift goose in the throat."
